Her Secret
by KSPretenderFan
Summary: A secret that she chose not to acknowledge.
1. Secrets

**Her Secret**

**Summary:** A secret that she chooses not to acknowledge. All for the freedom of the boy she stole her first kiss from.

**This is my first ever Pretender Fic. **

**AN:** The dates I used are estimations based on some of the episodes. I'm not sure when Jarod escaped. So I am assuming it was sometime before the series premiered in September of 1996. The episodes I used for the various dates in the story and occasionally make reference to are, in chronological order, Ranger Jarod, Gigolo Jarod, Red Rock Jarod, Wake Up, Ties That Bind, Junk , The Pretender 2001, and The Island of the Haunted movie.

**AN2:** The format of chapter 1 was inspired by The Secret, a fic written by Mandy a while back. It's not on because hers was full of smutty goodness. Mine sadly, does not have the smut, but I liked the idea of using some of the episodes as plot points for Parker's secrets over the years. Hope you enjoy.

* * *

**Chapter 1: Secrets**

AUGUST 1996:

She went back to the Centre Security room on SL-8, looked at the monitors and saw Jarod, Alex, and Eddie making their way to the boiler room. She re-set the cameras showing continuous loops of days gone by and programmed the alarm system to malfunction for forty-five minutes, giving the Pretenders enough time to make their way out of the Centre.

She put her fingers on the glass of the monitor. "Be safe my friend. Find your family." She whispered.

Making her way back to her office, she made a secure call. "What's your ETA? Good, two miles up you should see him, about 6'2", 180. You have the cash to send him on his way. Great. Thanks Todd."

Two hours later, her phone at home rang. "What?!" She answered. "Yes Daddy, I'll be in shortly."

* * *

FEBRUARY 1997

She was smoking a cigarette at a diner in Oregon, TolucaNational Park to be exact. _Wonderful_, she thought to herself; _leave it to Jarod to come to the most godforsaken places_. There wasn't even a bar in town that served a decent single malt scotch.

She looked over at a table where Nia Perdon was seated having breakfast. Nia was too distracted given her lovesick look to notice her sitting at the counter because she wasn't dressed as she was yesterday when she and Syd interviewed her about Jarod. Parker was sitting at the counter looking like any other person at a National Park. Ball cap, pony tail through the opening in the back, flannel shirt, jeans, hiking boots. She had sent Sydney back to the Centre knowing this lead had gone cold.

She had no doubt that Jarod and Nia had a relationship, even a short one. He had called Sydney asking about sex one day leading her to wonder if Jarod had surrendered his v-card to her. She sighed; feeling dejected, as if something was stolen from her.

The door to the diner opened. She looked at the new arrival that had just walked in and took the seat right next to her. He was a good looking man, tall and very wiry build, like a runner, late thirties, early forties. Dark hair cut short, flannel shirt, jeans, hiking boots. Blue eyes encased in wire rimmed glasses. His eyes met hers and he smiled. He had an infectious smile that made her reciprocate, her dimples showing.

"It was good to hear from you." The man said.

"Glad you could make it, John." Parker said. They sat for the next twenty minutes or so making small talk about the weather, how busy their day had been good restaurants to visit. As she stood up to leave, she surreptitiously handed him a motel room key. "See you in a few." She flashed her dimples again.

* * *

FEBUARY 1998

She sent Sydney and Broots back home to the Centre, again their lead on Boy Wonder was cold. She was at a bar, a block away from Bucky LaFontaine's. He had written a book for her, she hadn't had time to read it yet, if she ever would. It was pretty sad that she was in this seedy bar in downtown Detroit this close to Valentine's day. It sucked, but Monkey-Boy had a way of making his point, the bastard. She felt secure that she had her firearm with her as she sat and waited.

"So we meet again, John." Parker smiled at the man that took the bar stool next to her.

"Parker, I swear you take me to the best places." John flashed his infectious smile again.

"I didn't choose the locale. Just taking advantage of a diversion," she replied, dimpled smile showing.

They make small talk for a few minutes then decide to meet at a more private location later in the evening.

* * *

MAY 1998

It was Cinco de Mayo and the last thing on Parker's mind was celebrating. She had just watched a man die because he wouldn't pull the trigger for fear of hitting her. Kyle's death nearly broke her best friend. Watching him hold his dying brother in his arms broke her heart.

Broots and Sydney were sent home to the Centre, once again empty handed of both Lyle and Jarod. Where Jarod disappeared to, she didn't know. He left with Kyle's body and no one had a clue.

She was in a Mexican Restaurant, because, it was Arizona and it was Cinco de Mayo. Festivities were all around. She looked up and spotted John making his way towards her table. "Parker, heard you had one hell of a day."

She sighed and looked at John, "Here's some interesting reading material for your boys in DC and Virginia." She said as she stood up and walked out. John was concerned about Parker. The last couple of years have not been easy on her.

* * *

MAY 1999

Another Cinco de Mayo and Parker was not in a celebratory mood again. John was heading on his way to a bar in downtown Dover. As he was walking into the bar he noticed that Parker was already there, looking three sheets to the wind. He had heard about Thomas, knowing the man meant a lot to his colleague, he felt sorry for her pain. He hung back as he noticed a man sit down across the table from her. This, he knew, was Jarod, her current prey and one time best friend.

John watched and kept an eye on Parker. She was laughing and crying at the same time. He stood close to where the couple was sitting and overheard bits of the conversation.

"I was thinking more along the lines of a cup of coffee and a cab. What's so funny?" Jarod asked.

"This. You and me. I spend 80% of my life hunting you and the second I stop you sit down in my lap," Parker replied.

"I guess as much as we both like to deny it, we're both just two pieces of the same puzzle."

"And quite a grotesque little puzzle it's turned out to be. Have a drink with me, Jarod, while I'm still buyin'. Another round here for me and..." John saw Jarod wave his hand no to the bartender. "Oh come on, good buddy Jarod. Boy genius." Parker continued slurring her words.

"I realize you're in pain and I'm very sorry for what has happened. But if you're going to find out who really killed Thomas, you're going to have to keep your wits about you."

". . . The man the police think killed Thomas Gates died of a drug overdose in his cell less than one hour ago. Missing pieces . . . Miss Parker . . . Missing pieces." Jarod said and got up. Before leaving, John noticed that Jarod told the bartender to make sure Parker got home in once piece.

After ensuring that Jarod had indeed left, John walked up to Parker's table. She looked up at John and just shook her head. He sat down. "I'm sorry Miss Parker. I wish you didn't have to go through this . . . I saw Jarod leave. Heard what he had to say. If you need help with any of that, you'll let me know right?"

Parker nodded her head. "I left something for you with the bartender. Have a drink on me, I'm going home."

* * *

MARCH 2000

"John, why do we always meet at bars? Can't we just meet at some random airport switch brief cases then go back home? I'm getting really tired of this coat and dagger crap. Four years of this and it's getting old. I'm getting old."

John smiled at Parker, happy to see her dimples once again. It had been awhile since he had seen them. "You look pretty hot for an old lady. It's all up to you. You're calling the shots on this one."

"Every time I think I have my answers, more questions pop up. I keep finding more and more atrocious projects the Centre's gotten into. John, they got a young boy hooked on drugs so they could make it more addictive. . . " Parker recalled the DSA's showing a teenaged Jarod suffering from severe withdrawal. "You'll find it all here. I just feel there's more. As scary as that is, I know there's more."

* * *

JANUARY 2001

"Finally, we're in my stomping grounds Parker. No hopping on a last minute flight to BFE, USA to meet at some seedy bar." John said as he sat down at Parker's table. They were at a WashingtonDC bar close to the FBI building. This quest has taken its toll on her. He can tell. The lies, half-truths, and mind games the Centre had perpetuated was getting to her. "You okay?"

"I've had one hell of a year John. Let's see, uhm delivered my baby brother. Find out that I have another brother oh and that Dr. Frankenstein shot my mother in cold blood minutes, mere minutes after she delivered my younger brother. Almost get blown up on a DC train. One of the other Pretenders that escaped with Jarod was still alive and apparently knows more about my family tree than I do. I find out my father may not really be my father and is now in a catatonic state so that I can't even talk to him. Anymore branches fall out of my family tree and I swear it will be over; answers or not. I give it a few more months then I'm calling it quits. Next time we meet, it will be in some tropical island somewhere. Hawaii sounds good or the Bahamas." She shoved a thick stack of papers to John.

"For once, can we at least have something to eat?" John called out to her. She just waved her hand and continued out the door.

* * *

JANUARY 2002

"Hey, you said the next time we would meet it would be in a tropical island." John said as he saw Parker, as he and another man sat at the table she had acquired for them.

"I hope you brought someone who can work on this side of the pond," Parker said as John sat down.

"I always keep my promises. This is Agent Milford from the CIA."

John had suspected that this might be it. When he had talked to her upon her return from Scotland, he had sensed a change in her; a weariness and tiredness that hadn't been there before. He wasn't sure what happened in Scotland, because his and Miss Parker's relationship didn't delve into the personal. He does know that Jarod was with her, whether intentional or not, he wasn't sure. He had also heard about the unfortunate death of her baby brother.

He had been working with Miss Parker five years now. The last time he had seen her in WashingtonDC she had hinted that she was almost done with her quest. He realized that this might be the last meeting he would ever have with Parker. He knew that as soon as she passed on the last of the information to him and to the CIA that she would just disappear.

Instinctively, John reached out to hug Miss Parker. "It was a pleasure working with you Miss Parker." John said feeling her tense for a brief moment, and then relax into his embrace. "Take care of yourself," He whispered.

"I always do. Thank you, John," she replied.

"Did you get your answers Parker?" John called out.

"No, but I'm done waiting," she said as she walked away. "I'm changing the ending of this story."

John saw her make a quick call then hang up. He was certain that she would smash that phone as soon as she got some distance away.

"Ethan, it's me. Margaret is in London." Parker said as she hung up her phone.

* * *

FEBRUARY 2002:

Walking through the airport, she caught snippets of news coming from the various TV screens. Pausing for just a minute, she glanced at the screens and smiled with satisfaction and continued to her destination.

CNN News: "Sources say the major corporation out of Blue Cove, Delaware has been the subject of several investigations for some time. Yet only now, do authorities have enough evidence to make a move on this national threat."

". . . biggest conspiracy . . . human rights violations . . . . murder . . . kidnapping . . . extortion . . . bribery . . . " the news went on, listing all the charges the Centre faced.

"You will see key Centre personnel being escorted into FBI vehicles for transport . . . William Raines . . . Lyle Parker . . ."

* * *

MARCH 2002:

International News Africa: "The joint operation between CIA and Other International Agencies has finally come to an end with the surrender of Triumvirate forces in Africa. Instrumental in the downfall was an insider whose identity is a very closely guarded secret. The insider, an expert in the operations of the Triumvirate worked closely with the CIA. Dozens of children, kidnapped by the Triumvirate for the sole purpose of creating assassins were rescued from conditions that were far from ideal and labeled inhumane by many sources. If you will recall the Triumvirate had strong ties with an American Corporation called the Centre. The Centre was taken down last month by the FBI."

* * *

**AN: The death of Baby Parker referred to in this chapter isn't "canon" if you will, just in case you all were wondering. The story continues in the next chapter. Please leave a review and let me know what you thought . . . **


	2. Looking for Miss Parker

**Chapter 2: Looking for Miss Parker**

October 2002:

Sydney sat at his desk at the newly revealed Isis Foundation – formerly the Centre. When the Centre was raided barely a year ago, he, Broots, and Sam had been following a supposed lead on Jarod in San Antonio. As soon as they had landed, the jet they were on had been called back to the Centre. That same day, the government had taken over the Centre and all its assets. And, while they were stranded in Texas, all they could do was watch the news about what was going on at the Centre. A few months later, Sydney had been contacted regarding his appointment as head of the Isis Foundation.

The Foundation had been anonymously funded several years ago and had acquired some of the less lucrative legitimate research projects of the Centre. Once the Centre operations were cleared by the government, the papers indicated that Sydney would take over as President of the Isis Foundation and should have the funds necessary to acquire what was left of the legitimate research of the Centre. Sydney realized, although had no evidence to support his theory, that this was all Miss Parker's doing.

The shrill ring of the telephone interrupted his thoughts. He had a suspicion on who was going to be on the other end of the line, so he took a deep breath to steady himself. "This is Sydney."

"Sydney, do you know why Miss Parker is still running?" Jarod's voice though deceptively calm, projected urgency over his inability to contact his oldest and dearest friend. Sydney sighed. Almost as soon as news of the Centre's demise came to light, Jarod had been trying to contact Miss Parker. He was able to contact Sydney easily enough, but Miss Parker was another matter.

"I honestly don't know Jarod. I haven't spoken to her directly in almost a year. Not since before the Centre was taken over by the government. If I do hear from her, it's usually a voice mail telling me she's fine, that she's just checking in so I don't worry. But she never indicates where she is."

"Sydney, I just can't accept that she's gone." Never had Sydney heard Jarod's voice so confused, at a loss.

"I'm sorry Jarod. I don't know what to say. Maybe when she feels the time is right, she will contact someone. I promise, if I talk to her directly, you'll be the first to know."

"Sydney, do you know why she did what she did? I know nothing has come out about her involvement but I just know she was the reason the Centre and Triumvirate are no longer around."

"I wish I could tell you more, Jarod. When she came back from Scotland, she was more distant than she ever was, and she was devastated when she found out her little brother passed away. I wasn't privy to any of her thoughts or plans at the time. And I have the same suspicion as you, that she did have a hand in the events here, but I don't know the how and the why. Only she can answer that and right now, I don't think she wants to be answering any questions."

"I need to see her Sydney. If only to see that she's okay."

"Do what you feel you need to Jarod. But I feel that she is staying away for a reason. You know better than to push the issue. She'll just run the other way." Sydney reminded Jarod.

"Sydney, I just want to know if she's okay . . . " Jarod said.

"Jarod, I know that she will contact us when she is damn good and ready. She has given up so much for everyone she cares about. All these years, she traded her freedom for yours and mine and Broots. Give her time to take in what she has done. She betrayed the one thing she had always been taught to protect and hold above all else. "

He stared at the picture of Miss Parker as a baby with Catherine holding her and smiling at her. _Keep her safe Catherine._

* * *

Hundreds of miles away in the mountains of Colorado, Jarod was sitting at the kitchen table of the large two story house that served as his family home, staring at the phone in his hand. The house was surrounded by acres of nature reserves in the mountains of Colorado. If you didn't know where to look, you wouldn't even know the house existed. This place was one of several that Jarod had acquired to serve as his and his family's safe haven once they were all together.

Thanks to his brother Ethan, he and his family had been reunited with his mother a month after his return from Scotland. Within a month after that, the Centre had fallen, then the Triumvirate.

Jarod never saw it coming, at least not by anyone else's hand but his own. After the debacle in Scotland, Jarod had had enough of the Centre and had decided to disappear for awhile to focus his attentions on finding his mother and bringing his family together. Her disappearance right before the fall of the Centre left no doubt in his mind that she was responsible. While he buried his head in the sand, to lick his wounds, his best friend had done the one thing he had planned and simmed but never got around to doing. The girl that everyone underestimated, including himself, accomplished the one thing he never thought possible. She took down the Centre and Triumvirate single handedly.

He hadn't seen Parker since their time together on the Island of Carthis. But for that one phone call, he hadn't spoken to her either. When he was talking about turning points in Scotland, he had wished that Parker would have taken the one he had offered, not realizing that at some point before Scotland, she had already found her turning point and it wasn't towards him.

He wanted to forget the feelings that been brought to the surface at Ocee's cottage. The feelings he thought he had long buried deep within. But what was imprinted in his mind was the closeness they shared in front of the fire. That for once they were baring their souls and confiding in each other as man and woman and not as adversaries.

_Missing Pieces. . . Miss Parker. . . Missing Pieces. . . _He remembered saying those words to her the night he found her at that bar after Thomas' murder.

For months he had forced himself to not look for her; to stay away, to give her time and space. Little did he know that the missing piece he was looking to complete his life had been right in front of him from the beginning. It was Parker, Centre Ice Queen, the little girl who had given him his first kiss; the woman who sacrificed her freedom for his. It was a revelation to Jarod that he not only wanted her in his life, but he needed her in his life.

Didn't they deserve a different ending?


	3. Found

**Chapter 3: Found**

JANUARY 2003

Venice Beach, California

"Fat-free Latte, right?" The barista, a girl of no more than sixteen, asked. Molly was the same girl that waited on Miss Parker almost every morning for the past month in the little out of the way coffee shop. The sweetness and innocence of her perky smile always made Parker reciprocate.

"You got it, Molly." Parker responded with a small smile of her own. As she moved to her usual table, Molly stopped her and in an exaggerated whisper says. "Oh, by the way, some hottie just stole your table," she pointed and winked, but all Parker saw was a laptop and some papers spread out.

Miss Parker had been sitting in the same table for the past month. Being a creature of habit, she would set up her lap top, spend an hour or so searching her normal secure servers, then head home. Huffing her disappointment at her table being taken, she made a beeline for the table all the way across the coffee shop, set up her laptop and waited for Molly to finish her coffee.

"Miss P? You're coffee's ready!" Molly says. As Miss Parker took her coffee from Molly, she again whispered loudly . . . "I swear he was here like ten minutes ago and he was so hot. He's like close to your age and I didn't spot a wedding ring or anything. And he has the tightest a –"

Parker holds her hand up to interrupt Molly "Ah – yeah. Thanks for the info." She mentally rolled her eyes. _Spare me from matchmakers. _ The last thing she was needed was to meet someone. Hottie or not, it just wasn't the right time. She didn't think it would ever be.

* * *

After her Houdini from the coffee shop, she decided to just hide out in her beach house. She sat on the front porch with her coffee cup.

When Miss Parker disappeared a year ago, it was because she was trying to keep those she cared about safe. After all the lies and half truths, the deception, and the pain, the manipulation and torture by the Centre, she hadn't been sad to see it fall. She just hadn't realized that it would happen so quickly after she delivered the last of the evidence.

Why she continued to stay away from the only home she had ever known, was still a mystery to her. The first three months, she spent in Europe. Sightseeing and going to the places she and her mother had always dreamed about visiting. France, Germany, Romania, Russia, Italy. Europe had so much history she never ran out of things to do. She would monitor the goings on in Blue Cove from time to time, but only to make sure Sydney and Broots were adjusting to the Isis Foundation with Sydney as chairman, Broots as head of IT.

The next three months she spent in Asia, doing much of the same thing.

She had been back in the US for six months now, the last month in the same place. Not once had she gone back home to Delaware.

Home. She had remembered a conversation with her mother when she was very young; about how to define what a home was. She had remembered her mother saying something hackneyed and trite. _"Baby, home is where the heart is."_ At that age, she just thought that it was an answer parents gave when they really didn't know the answer to the question.

It was only after a year, two continents, half a dozen countries, twenty or thirty odd cities that it dawned on her. She realized that a home is where you feel the safest, where you feel protected. A home is where you can say or do anything without judgment. A home is where you can be who you are; warts and all.

_I don't know where my home is. _

Her home wasn't a place at least not by itself. She had always considered her mother's summer house as home. Her house was not a home unless it had someone in it that protected her and made her feel safe. Jarod was part of her home. He knew her dark places, places she couldn't even begin to tell Thomas about. He knew her as well as he knew himself. Jarod knew everything she was, everything she had been. He was her missing piece. She had given him her heart when she was eleven and he had refused to give it back. He was her home.

It has been over a year since she had last seen Jarod at Carthis. Almost a year and still she felt the pain of his loss. She had finally admitted to herself then that there was more to his question of 'What about . . . us?' Even then she knew that there was more than just 'You run. I chase.'

Jarod never knew how close Parker was to helping him escape that day in Scotland. How close she was to running away with him. She wanted to tell him that she had a plan, a plan to end the Centre, but she couldn't without jeopardizing all the work she had put into it. She had wished countless times that she could take back the pain she had caused him.

After her call to Ethan telling him where Margaret was. She had made herself stay away. To not contact him and give him time with his family.

During her weak moments, the little girl inside of her had secretly hoped that he would try and find her, come for her. Gallop in on his white steed and rescue the princess. It would be at that point that reality would set in. Who was she kidding? _Get a grip Parker!_ She would tell herself. _What do you think he's going to do? Wrap his arms around you and make everything feel better?_

The truth of it was that she didn't deserve him. After everything she'd done to him over the years, she deserved this punishment for every despicable thing her family has heaped on Jarod over the years. She wiped a tear that had fallen down her cheek. _Oh Lord. The angst is working overtime today isn't it? _She didn't really know what she wanted except to be near him. There was always something about Jarod that made her feel safe; made things better. Rubbing her hands across her face, she mentally shook herself. _Snap out of it Parker. This self pity is not getting you anywhere. You want to see him, do something about it. _

* * *

He was watching her from afar. People who knew Miss Parker would barely recognize her now. Gone were the designer suits that were tailored, flattering and oh too short. Gone too were the stilettos. She was wearing jeans, grey cashmere sweater, and boots. Not one whiff of Centre Ice Queen in her.

After refocusing his efforts, it had been easy enough for Jarod to find her, though it wouldn't have been so for anyone else. He knew how her mind worked and seeing as how she had a ten month head start on him, she had been able to cover her tracks well. Following her money trail allowed him to narrow down the city that she was in, it took him several days before he found where she was living. He had finally caught up with her a week after she had settled in her little beach cottage.

Once he found her, then he set about following her to get an understanding of what she was doing. Why she was still running. Physically, she appeared fine, emotionally, he wasn't so sure.

Jarod was standing on the beach several hundred feet from her house. He was watching her through high powered binoculars as she sat on her front porch. The sight of her tears and despondency clutched at his heart. She seemed so alone, so lost. He had been watching her for nearly three weeks. It was time to make his presence known.

"I need you Parker, just as much as you need me. Whether you want me or not, it was just meant to be." Jarod whispered to the wind that floated his words away.

* * *

**AN: Hi! As you all know, this is my first pretender fic. Because the fandom is no longer active, I was wondering if the fans left out there could help me out? I am a big MPJ shipper. I loved the fanfic stories of old where it was just a simple MP & J find their way to each other and trot off into the sunset. I was a big fan of Ginger and Phenyx who wrote a very strong and certainly not messed up MP. I am not a fan of the darker fics, I find I can't write those and all together avoid them. **

**Is there anything that would make future fics more interesting. Such as more on taking down the Centre? Kick-a** MP? I tended to go with just a clean fic this time with not a whole lot of take down the Centre plot. I certainly didn't want to write a fic that would take years and years to complete. **

**So, let me know what you all think. I have an idea for writing a series of smaller fics (maybe no more than 5 chaps each), though connected to each other, would somehow be tied up in a little bow in each fic solving whatever issue came up for MPJ. **

**Thanks for taking the time to read and review. **


	4. The Reunion and Confessions

**AN: Hi folks! I'm really excited that people are actually following this fic, and commenting too. Glad to see the fandom isn't gone. Thanks to all that have read, followed, and especially reviewed. I'm glad you like it. There was a comment from a guest that said the chapters are a bit short. My chapters are short and it is on purpose. Since I don't plan to take years and years and years to update this fic, I try to make them concise. My fics will not contain a lot of technicalities about the fall of the Centre or plots to bring it down. I tend to like simple romance stories, maybe a bit of adventure, but certainly not in this one. **

**Here is chapter 4, let me know what you all think. Again, thank you for all the reviews. I do respond when I can PM the reviewer back. **

* * *

**Chapter 4: The Reunion And the Confession**

Parker's Beach House, Venice Beach, California

Parker's house was quiet when she finally got back from running her errands. She hated grocery shopping, but she had to do it once every couple of weeks, otherwise, she would be eating out every night. Going straight to the kitchen to put her groceries away, she heard a sudden noise. Silently, she put her groceries down and headed for her desk in the corner where she stored her gun. As she was reaching into the drawer, cynical voice stopped her in her tracks.

"You're slipping Parker. In the old days, your 9mm would have been in my face by now."

Instinctively, Parker asked heatedly "Jarod? What the hell are you doing here?"

"I'm just checking up on an old friend." He answered quietly. Parker knew the smile she heard in his voice was real.

"How did you find me?"

"It wasn't easy as first. You had a good head start on me. I didn't even realize you had disappeared until I called Sydney a month ago wondering why all your phone lines were disconnected." He started to say.

Parker smirked to herself. _Nice, apparently, I wasn't even missed_.

"You look good, Miss Parker. It seems that time away from the Centre agrees with you." He gave her an appreciative once over.

"It's been great not having to chase your ass all over kingdom come." She replied acidly as she picked up her abandoned groceries and went for the kitchen. She went about putting way what needed to be put away.

"I was going to make some tea. Would you care to join me?" She offered.

At his cautious nod of agreement, she started the make tea.

As they settled down on the couch, she asked. "Jarod, I don't like repeating myself, but what are you doing here?"

"I told you, I was just checking up on you. I hadn't seen or talked to you in almost a year. And I have about a million questions I want to ask you but I doubt you would give me a straight answer," he answered wryly.

"I can take care of myself Jarod. I have been taking care of myself for a long time." She said irritably. She had to remind herself that just a few short hours ago, she wanted to be near him. She had to shake this Centre ingrained defensiveness that was in her. This was her friend Jarod, who probably really had no other ulterior motive but concern for his best friend.

"What do you want to talk about?" She asked after taking a deep calming breath.

"A few things; the most pressing of which is Ethan. He found us about a month after we came back from Carthis. He had my mother in tow. He was very evasive as to how he found her; I figured it was the voices, or maybe a phone call from a certain someone who was in London a few days before he found my mother there. Know anything about that?" Jarod asked.

When Parker remained mute, admitting to nothing, Jarod continued. "He doesn't seem to want to stay with us, though he is more than welcome. He's living by himself, but my mother and Emily worry about him. He just seems alone. He shouldn't feel like he has to be alone," Jarod explained. Parker looked into Jarod's intense brown eyes, trying to understand if he had another meaning to his statement.

"I thought maybe you could invite him to stay with you; wherever you decide to settle. He needs to be around family; to have that connection." The set look on Jarod's face told her what he wanted her to do.

"Of course. Ethan is always welcome. I'll probably be heading ho- to Blue Cove in a few weeks. Let him know he can contact me whenever he wants to get away."

Jarod nodded his appreciation of her offer, though noting her hesitancy at the word home.

"Knowing you, you have some place close by that you're staying at for however long you are "checking up" on me. So, do you mind if we continue this conversation a different day? I'm beat, and cranky, and may probably threaten to use my gun on you . . . " Parker hinted.

Jarod acquiesced, drained his tea and headed towards the door. "Lock up behind me."

* * *

**The Confession**

The next morning, she got up, showered and made her way to the coffee shop as she did every day. She was surprised when she opened her front door and Jarod was standing right there her latte in hand. "Fat Free Latte right?"

"Of course, you're the hottie Molly was talking about." Parker replied motioning for him to come in.

"Talk to Freud lately? How is he?" she asked without delay as they sat on the couch.

"He didn't want me to find you. He said that you might run the other way if you were pushed too soon. But he misses you." Jarod said quietly, his perusing eye never faltering for a second. "How about you?"

"What about me? I'm fine. I love being footloose and fancy free. Not tethered to the Centre anymore. You know what it's like." Parker tried to deflect the conversation from delving into her feelings.

"Yes, I know what it's like. It's lonely without people around that care about you." Jarod replied back, getting right into the heart of the matter.

"Jarod, what do you want from me?" She just wants him to go away so he doesn't keep picking at her feelings. She's wasn't supposed to have any.

"Answers. I want to know why you led everyone to believe including me that you didn't care? You obviously did or you wouldn't have worked with the FBI for five years . . . Why Parker?" Jarod asked.

Her continued silence was his undoing. "Damn it Parker. If you were working with the FBI all along, why did continue to hunt me down like a fugitive for five God damn years?" His was voice getting louder with each word and by the time he finished, he was literally shouting at her.

Jarod had never used that tone of voice with Parker in the past. As he finished, she found herself putting her Ice Queen armor back on. "Why? Because YOU, Boy wonder wouldn't disappear for good! Because YOU insisted on throwing breadcrumbs when we all knew well and good that you could have easily gone under and no one would be the wiser. We had to because of that stupid – ass game of chase YOU insisted on playing, Jarod!" Parker's voice had risen as well, not one to back down from a fight.

Jarod stood up. "So you're saying I wanted to live the life of a fugitive? Looking over my shoulder every ten minutes? It's my fault you kept coming after Centre property?"

"Yes you did Jarod. All those hints, breadcrumbs, false leads? You wouldn't release us from the game. God knows eighty percent of the time we wouldn't have found you if it weren't for your hints and innuendoes. Freud said you always did things for a reason. No matter how perplexing that reason was to us."

With a definite flash in her blue eyes that were quickly becoming a cold grey, Parker stood up as well and crossed her arms. In a voice reinforced with steel, she calmly informed Jarod, "I did it because I had to. Sydney and Broots were along for the ride. Someone had to keep Sydney's 'aid' a secret or would you rather he be buried next to my mother's empty casket? Someone had to protect Broots and Debbie. God knows, they didn't ask for this. The worst thing that could have happened to that dipstick was the day he was hired by the Centre and put on your pursuit team."

"I could have helped you. You put yourself in needless danger when I could have helped you. I should have been a part of it! I should have been there to protect you." Jarod insisted.

"You're upset because I didn't invite you to the party?" she asked incredulously. "I knew what I was doing Jarod. I didn't need or want your help. The best thing you did to help was to go underground, no breadcrumbs, no late night phone calls to Sydney or to me, nothing. That was your contribution. With you out of the way, I had time to figure out how to get Sydney, Broots and Sam away safely. There was nothing left to pursue."

Parker continued on to explain how it was that the Centre was brought to its knees and her part in it. She told him how her journey started five years ago, by trying to find the right agency to approach about the Centre. She found it in the FBI. It took her a year to determine her contact at the FBI was the right one and that he wasn't in the Centre's back pocket. Over the next four years, she continued to feed the FBI information. Of importance was obtaining evidence that needed no additional witness testimony. When they had enough and the support of the Justice Department, she disappeared and they made a move on the Centre.

Softly, she added, "I didn't ask for your help Jarod, because every time you tried to help me, you always ended up getting hurt. I didn't want for you and your family to be caught in the cross hairs. You deserved to move on and try to live as normal a life as you could. Maybe start a family of your own. I did it for you Jarod, for the boy I stole my first kiss from."

* * *

Parker was standing on the deck of her beach house looking across the waves, the sound calming her. She had retreated there as soon as she had made her confession. Her mind moved back and forth between her child-hood that was so different than the life she was currently living.

"Doesn't it feel good to admit you care for me?" Jarod asked from behind her. Even though she couldn't see his face, she could imagine the self confident smirk on it.

"Are you happy now, Genius? To be a witness to my humiliation yet again?" She said as she tried to move past him back into the house.

Jarod halted her movement with a hand on her arm. "Parker . . . you know that isn't true. My intention was never, ever to humiliate you. I just wanted to open your eyes. Funny thing is, I didn't realize that you didn't need my help opening them. As for me saying the things I did today, I just wanted you to admit what you felt about me, what I have always, always felt about the woman I love. "

Pulling her arm away from his grasp she asked him in disbelief, "Jarod, how can you still have feelings for me? I have hardly been a friend to you over the past years. I was hunting you down for God sakes."

"Just because we argue and fight, it doesn't mean we don't care about each other." He quietly said in response. "Even people with the longest and happiest of marriages are going to hurt each other once in awhile and they are just going to have to forgive them for that. I never blamed you for what happened to me Parker. The Centre did that to me not you. You were as much a victim of the Centre as I was. You did what you did to survive and to protect Sydney and Broots. I know that little girl that was my best friend was still there, just buried under layers of ice." Moving closer to her, Jarod put his hands on her shoulders, feeling her tense at the contact.

"Jarod, you don't love me. You love the image you've painted of me in your mind. You love the little girl from the Centre. Not the person I am, the person I've become. After everything I've put you through?"

Without looking at Jarod, Parker started pacing. "I'm not that little girl anymore. I've lived through things, and done things that made me into the person I am today. Too much has happened between us. And I won't be able to live up to that expectation you have. That is just setting me up to fail."

"Are you done?"

Without waiting for a reply, Jarod continued, "I never expected you to be someone you're not. Don't you get it Parker? I didn't say I love that little girl, although I did at the time. I said I love you. You, the Miss Parker who chased me for five years but never caught me . . . You, the Miss Parker, who deliberately missed when she had a clear shot at my knee cap or my foot or my ass . . . You, the Miss Parker, who told Ethan where to find my mom . . ."

"How did you . . . " Parker started to ask but was interrupted by Jarod waving it off.

"And I love you, the Miss Parker who helped take down that house of horrors that kept me from my family for thirty years. I love you, the Miss Parker who sacrificed her freedom for mine. I loved that little girl, and I love the woman she became." He moved closer cupped her cheeks in his hands. "I love you, Morgan."

At the mention of the name no one had spoken in so many years, tears began to fall. She saw the truth and sincerity in his eyes. "Jarod," she sighed as she felt him pull her close.

Jarod held on to Parker tightly. It felt wonderful to finally be able to hold her and touch her. "Do you know how long I've waited for this?" He said softly.

Parker let out a breath. It was time to tell him what she had been holding back for so long.

"Oh, I know. The last year without any sort of contact was hell. But it helped me realize how much I needed you in my life. " Admitting this, Parker felt as if a weight had been lifted from her. As if she could breathe easier.

"You need me?" He asked softly.

He felt her nod her head. "Yes. Always. You're my home Jarod; always have been." She replied. "You helped me through some of the toughest times of my life. Without you, I would never have found out the truth about my mother. Without you, I wouldn't have had the strength to make it through Tommy's murder; through finding out Lyle was my twin. I need you Jarod, to keep me in touch with who I was and who I have become." She whispered, reaching up to brush her hand across his cheek, as tears started to pool in his eyes.

Cupping his face, Parker's eyes locked with his. She pulled his head down to hers and gave him a tentative kiss. Their first few kisses were soft and sweet, almost like their first kiss years ago.

"Feels good to finally finish what we started in Scotland." He said quietly not moving any more than necessary to say those words. He leaned back in to continue to kiss her. Their kisses became more demanding and passionate.

"Let's go home Parker. It's time to stop running away and go home."

**The End**

* * *

**AN: I know right? Where's the smut? I wanted something relatively easy to follow for my first foray into the Pretender Fandom. I tend to like romances more than I do the ins and outs of the Centre. So let me know. I have an idea for a "series" of fics for MPJ. Nothing earth shattering, but basically something to finish up the MPJ story line Steven Long Mitchell and Craig Van Sickle never finished! Sigh. Let me know what you all think. Thanks for reading and reviewing, I appreciate the time you all took to read and especially to review . . .**

**If you have any ideas or plot bunnies, I would appreciate hearing from you as well. **


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